


Egotistical

by Stay_safe_eat_cake



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: A tad OOC, Angst, Don't ship real people!!!!!!, Evo AU, Evolution- freeform, Grians a sad boi and a bastard child, Hermitcraft- freeform, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I use spell check I swear, I'm sorry..., Just personas!!!, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Hatred, Seriously I'm sorry about the grammar, Slow Burn, Suicide, The void means permadeath, Watcher AU, Watcher Grian, Winged Grian, mild gore?, no beta we die like men, season 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stay_safe_eat_cake/pseuds/Stay_safe_eat_cake
Summary: He has been with the Watchers for so long.He doesn't waste time trying to remember those days with Evo.He just does his job, letting his anger push him forward.Everything was going right,Then he was assigned to Watch the Hermits.And he broke the only rule.Was it for the better?
Relationships: (past relationship), Charles | Grian & Taurtis, Charles | Grian & Xisumavoid, Oliver Brotherhood/Charles | Grian
Comments: 60
Kudos: 266





	1. Prologue

Prologue

When the Watchers first showed up to Evo he had rightfully been wary.

A strange symbol carved out of bedrock would worry anybody. But as the Watchers turned up more often he began to feel more comfortable, he accepted them into his life seeing as they were an important part of keeping the community going. They made sure the members always had a safe way to shift updates, they brought gifts and rewards and in the end, they gave Grian the best thing possible,

 _A way out_.

The Evo members were never the kindest bunch, only a month into their adventures they were dividing themselves, raging non-physical wars of manipulation and control.

Grian had tried his best to keep to himself, he just wanted to build his base honestly.

But alas he was an extrovert that thrived on attention and mischief. He eventually ventured back to the heart of the world and played a few pranks that the others didn't appreciate in the slightest. The more things he did, the more he interacted with everyone, the less they seemed to like him.

They called him Annoying,

Aggravating,

Rude,

Carless,

Irresponsible,

Immature,

Full of Himself,

Self-centred,

Selfish,

_**Egotistical.** _

That one was brought up quite often. They loved to talk behind his back about how egotistical he was, always putting his face on things, naming things after himself, putting himself first. They said he had no regard for others and only cared about himself.

They would laugh and say his ego is bigger than his base.

No one was laughing when he left.

He took the Watchers with him, causing the world to start to fail, glitches appeared more often and there was no safe way to get between updates.

Everything went to hell.

The "community" fell apart.

Nobody left that world in one piece.

Except for Grian, who watched it all happen.

Brandishing the name they gave him with pride.

Turning their poisonous words into inconceivable power.

As Evo burned down, so did "Grian", he was no longer one of them.

He was _**Ego**_.

And Evolution was only the start of his journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Hermitfic, WHoooOo!  
> I might actually finish this, I'm obsessed with the idea for this fic and I'm already pretty proud of this!!!  
> Please leave constructive criticism in the comments because by god do I need it.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When Ego first joined the Watchers they had convinced him to change his name.

“It separates your past self from who you are now”.

“All Watcher's names have a story” Thief, the younger of the Watchers who had saved him had stated that, and he wasn’t wrong all names had a story, most held trauma.

Thief was very open about his story.

Thief was shunned from his village, he was accused of stealing from the priest’s prized possesions, He knew it was his brother who had done it but no one believed him.

They chanted “THIEF!” as he was kicked out and threw rocks that just barely missed him.

He was forced to fend for himself in a sickeningly hot dessert, he was on his last string of hope when he came across a temple, he ran in and passed out from exhaustion when he awoke he was in a castle, in the End, the Watchers had saved him.

Thief told the younger man that he was destined to end up in that temple.

Blink the older, more silent Watcher was at first reluctant to share her story with Ego,

But one day when Ego was trying to get over the fact he couldn't save a world, Blink sat him down and told him. 

Blink had been born into a poor family, they barely scraped by before she was born but soon after her family didn’t have a single minute to spare her.

She was consistently left to fend for herself, she ended up extremely underweight and constantly sick. One day Blink decided she would leave her sad home and see if anyone noticed. She, having no idea where to go, made her way to the town library and spent her time there, easily sneaking past the librarian, Reading hundreds of books about all sorts of things, old myths, new histories, fairy tales and fantasies.

She spent the best time of her life there. But one day well Blink was in her corner, nose in a book, a fire started in the library, she didn’t notice until it was too late, she tried to get out but the door had been blocked off by a fallen bookshelf, through the charring wood she could see the librarian outside she screamed and cried for help, Blink was far too weak to move the shelf herself but the old woman never gave her a second glance.

She fell to the floor crying, accepting her fate.

She was surrounded by scorching heat until she wasn’t.

She was in the End, she had been saved by the very people she had read about in books of myths.

She chose “Blink” because at every point in her life she was forgotten, invisible, she was always gone in a blink of an eye.

She told Ego that he couldn't help everyone, but he can try and help those who mattered, those who will have a brave story to tell.

She told him that fate was the final decision for everything, and if something happened fate had its reasons.

* * *

Ego had seen many worlds, he had helped many people, he had seen awful things.

So he was confused when he was assigned to the peaceful world of the Hermits.

Watchers aren’t often assigned to places that don’t need help.

He watched as they built an economy and strengthened their friendships.

He got a little anxious when they started a war with each other over pranks but was even more confused when the battle ended with everyone laying on the field in a fit of laughter. 

He watched as massive bases were built and even bigger shops were constructed.

He helped them when it was time for an update shift but after that, he just went back to observing they built more bases, played more games, killed each other for fun and even tried to tamper with reality itself, Ego managed to soil the “Area 77” scientist plans on that one, but he gave a few hippies the time of their lives in a "time machine"

He was there when Xisuma, their admin, announced they would be moving worlds.

Ego assumed that this meant his time to help was drawing near.

It was rare for admins to shift worlds for no reason, but according to Thief and Blink, this would be the Hermit's 7th time.

And Ego was going with them.

* * *

He flew above the small island in the middle of nowhere, his massive cloak camouflaging him into the night sky.

The Hermits were sitting in a circle around a fire reminiscing about the old world and excitedly talking about the opportunities in this new world.

Ego took no interest in the story's and nonsense, he was more focused on the outliers of the group.

There was Xisuma, he was in the circle but he wasn't talking, he was looking through the code checking to see if everything was in order. 

Ego really had to pay attention to him, he also had a responsibility to make sure everything was working, but something kept drawing his gaze over to the other oddity of the group.

It was the tall man named Mumbo, he was off to the side of the island fishing, he was listening in on the conversation though because every so often he would let out a light chuckle at his friend's antics.

Mumbo had always sparked Ego's attention, he spent less time with the other Hermits and rarely participated in the community shenanigans.

Not that he didn't make time for his friends, no, he just poured himself into his Redstone and didn't like being bothered.

Ego didn't have much more time to ponder over the strange man that was Mumbo Jumbo as the sun had started to rise and Xisuma announced it was safe for everyone to go their separate ways.

Ego flew higher up into the air and watched as everyone left the island, some leaving in groups, others venturing off alone.

He spent the rest of that day flying around the world watching as everyone started from square one.

He helped in small ways, shooing away creepers they didn't notice, leading them to safe places to build, putting more iron in caves and lots of other small things to make the Hermit's first day a good one.

As night once again fell on the world and the Hermits went to bed exhausted from the days work, Ego felt an urge, a sort of pull towards the jungle.

He soon found himself in front of Mumbos little "Hobbit Hole" as he had heard him call it.

He moved inside swiftly not making a noise.

He stood at the foot of the man's bed and watched as the sable haired man's chest moved slowly.

He looked so at ease.

It reminded Ego of something,

_'A dark-haired man in a blue sweater slept beside him peacefully, smiling in his slumber, Grian reached his hand forward and stroked his lover's forehead gently'_

Ego looked down at his hands and gently brought one forward he brushed his fingers lightly against the sleeping man's forehead.

A sudden shock ran up his arm and he pulled back quickly already regretting his choice.

Mumbo's eye shot open as he was violently pulled out his dream by a strange sensation on his forehead.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw a dark figure at the edge of his bed.

He scrambled backwards until his head hit the cold wall behind his bed.

"Who are you?!" He shouted as fear pumped through his veins and the feeling on his head got stronger.

The silhouette stared down at him with glowing purple eyes, holding their hand in front of them looking at it carefully.

"I'm not really sure"

This sent Mumbo into an even bigger panic, surely this is a dream, right?

Mumbo's breathing picked up and his mind swirled, his head started to hurt even more,

The cloaked man grew closer to Mumbo and the last thing he saw was the beautiful stars that littered the fabric.

Then he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

  
  
  


Ego was never the best at following rules, he’ll admit that.

That’s why when he found out there was only one rule when it came to being a Watcher he was ecstatic.

The majority of Watchers followed moral rules and kept themselves hidden from the players, they kept order and relied on fate.

However as in every society, not everyone thinks the same, so the Watchers are split into three leading groups.

The majority, Blink told him, were called the Governors. 

She told him that the many prophets of the players had given them this name, as the had been unnamed for millennials.

She never did explain who the prophets were.

On the other hand, there’s the ‘God’s’ as they deemed themselves, they tended to shower players with gifts and things of power, they made the players worship them.

And lastly, there's the Griefers, they are the more violent Watchers, they let their rage fuel them and they go nuts on the worlds they are assigned to, they liked to destroy everything and torture players.

Ego was a Governor.

He generally followed his moral compass, sure he had a few “moments” but he pushed those to the back of his mind.

Ignored them.

Even with their differences, each “community” wasn’t breaking any rules

They were free to do what they wanted with the powers gifted to them.

Seeing as the only fucking rule is;

Don’t.

Touch.

The.

Players.

And what did Grian do?

He touched Mumbo.

Because he was a bumbling idiot who was caught up in the past.

When he had joined the Watchers one of his first lessons was to never touch player's bare skin, they never explained why honestly he didn’t think they knew themselves.

Nevertheless, it was repeatedly pounded into his head.

It was just something every Watcher knew.

Nobody questioned it.

Well there were rumours, but that’s expected, when you're a Watcher there's not much to do but talk.

So stories spread.

Some said that if you touch a player it’s an immediate permadeath

Others say it drove you insane.

Most agreed that whatever happened, it wasn't good.

Ego got extremely anxious about the rule, it may have been the only one but he was extremely clumsy.

His anxiety about touching accidentally someone got so intense that he started wearing black gloves that went up to his elbows.

However, about halfway through his time with the Hermits, he ditched the gloves. 

It had been summer and with the blistering heat and the consistent peacefulness of the server, He didn’t think he’d need them any time soon. 

Boy was he wrong.

* * *

As soon as Ego touched Mumbo every aspect of his being screamed at him.

He messed up,

He really fucking messed up.

When he wasn’t immediately murdered by cosmic powers a small glimmer of hope broke through his psyche.

Then Mumbo woke up.

“Who are you!?”

This threw him through a bit of a loop

Who was he any more?

Was he Ego?

Well he had just broken the only rule the universe had given them so he doubts he'll be accepted back into the Watchers.

Was he Grian?

He left “Grian” behind with the ruins of Evo.

"I'm not really sure"

He said, looking over the hand he had just touched Mumbo with, there were no marks, nothing.

It just tingled a little.

He felt Mumbo’s panic fill the room, the sound of the tall man’s distressed breathing was all he could hear.

Gracefully he moved towards the man, instinct telling him to put the man to sleep.

Ego didn’t even have the chance to use his magic.

Mumbo got so worked up he made himself pass out.

Ego took this as an opportunity, Mumbo would hopefully wake up tomorrow and think this was all a dream.

Whatever the consequences for touching players where it didn’t seem to be affecting him yet.

So he decided the best option was to leave and go back to the End.

He would tell Blink and Thief of his mistake and hope they would try and help him.

Urgency pushed him out of the hobbit hole his wings barely fitting through the door.

Ego launched himself into the air adrenaline moving him forward. 

He darted through the dense jungle wind hitting his face going as fast as could until he came to a clearing

Landing clumsily he quickly pulled some bedrock out of his bag and began constructing the portal.

Once the border was in place he drew out the key, a small nether star connected to a piece of string that hung around his neck.

He pressed the charm onto his forehead, focused the energy towards the bedrock and waited in anticipation for the portal to light.

But it didn’t.

Of course, it fucking didn't.

Why would it?

Why did he think he could run away from this?

Why wasn't it working!?

Anger pumped through his veins, ready to scream.

Then he realized.

The stupid nether star, it wasn't a regular one from a wither, no it was connected to a piece of his soul and it was the source of his powers.

If the star wasn't working that means his powers we're also being affected in some way. 

He wasn't entirely sure what was happening.

But he knew he could die.

And if he didn't die tomorrow Mumbo will probably have everyone hunting for his head.

He was stuck.

_He was stuck._

His whole body trembled as that word repeated in his mind.

**_Stuck._ **

_His karma had been overdue._

_It had been his fault._

_They were right._

_And now it was his turn to be **stuck**_.

Hot tears streamed down his face and his vision clouded. 

His fist clenched around the star, his fingernails digging sharply into his palms. 

With the force of the emotions rushing through his head, he didn't even notice the pain.

He was so overwhelmed he hadn't even realized he had started flying.

He didn't know where he was going he just needed to get away.

Before today he could have flown forever.

But that's not what fate had in store for him.

As his magic slowly diminished so did his energy.

His body could no longer survive off mystical powers.

Years of not having to eat, drink or sleep was beginning to take its toll. 

The dryness in his mouth was suddenly glaringly obvious.

The rapid spinning in his head should have been enough warning for him to stop, but he kept flying. 

Dehydration, malnutrition and exhaustion were rapidly tearing him down.

He could no longer cry.

His stomach was screaming at him.

His limbs were so heavy.

Before he knew it he was falling.

His body crashed through the dense forest, sharp branches ripping through his cloak and cutting through his sensitive skin.

He hit the ground with brute force, his wings the only thing between him and death.

He couldn't even scream as he felt the bones in his wings shatter.

Red streaked his vision.

Everything hurt.

The overwhelming pain finally knocked him out after a few more agonizing seconds.

* * *

The warm glow of the sun peaks over the mountains in the distance, the golden rays illuminating the dishevelled man's body.

The first of the Hermits awake ready to start their second day in the new world, blissfully unaware of what lays ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 5:30, I'm watching the sunrise myself, I'm way too out of it to know if this was good, I think it is? Oh well at least it's done.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

  
  


xB had walked for almost an hour and a half to find the perfect spot for his new base.

When he saw the beautiful mountains and the strange floating island he knew immediately that this was the spot.

Even though he was exhausted from the long trek, a second wave of energy blazed through him. 

Excitedly he began to search the surrounding area for resources.

A dense forest stood in front of him.

“Perfect! There's enough wood here for me to build twenty bases!” He exclaimed to no one but himself.

Moving hastily he started to cut down trees, he knew he should probably be mining right now but this was more fun than being stuck in a stuffy strip mine.

As another tree fell it revealed something that had been blocked from his vision, a black mass on the ground in the distance.

“What in the-”

xB moved carefully towards the heap, paranoia creeping through him and his previous excitement completely gone.

His breathing hitched and chills went up through his spine.

It looked like a body?

It couldn't be, right?

Nervously he rubbed his hands together, advancing farther into the forest. 

A soft gasp left him, he was close enough now to see it was, in fact, a body.

A small brunette man laid crumpled on the ground in front of him.

His shock only grew as he processed the massive black wings and the blood that had dried on and around them.

Now that he looked closer the man was bleeding from more the just his wings, he had cuts all over his body underneath his ripped clothing,

He also didn't seem to be breathing.

“Oh fuck, oh shit” 

xB rushed to the man's side ready to check for a pulse, hesitating only for a second when he thought of the ‘what ifs’ 

Pushing away from the apprehension he grabbed the man's wrist.

Relief washed over him when he felt a steady beating.

But only for a second, even though the stranger's heart may be beating now the sickly tone of his skin suggests it soon may not.

xB’s panic rose again, hastily he pulled out his communicator, Xisuma would know what to do.

  
  


<xBCrafted> X to me now please

<Xisumavoid> Why? What happened

<xBCrafted> Emergency , real big emergency 

<Xisumavoid> Omw

  
  
  


It took a few seconds but he finally heard the warped sounds of Xisumas teleporting behind him.

Whipping around he saw X’s shocked face.

“What? Who?” Xisuma said in shock he was not prepared for this when he teleported.

“I don't know, I just found him here, he has a pulse though” xB said moving out of the way so the admin could do what he needed to.

Xisuma crouched down next to the body, looking over the damage trying to stay calm.

His gaze fell on the man's face, it was red and puffy like he had been crying, but what drew Xisuma's attention was the strange purple symbol in the center of the man's forehead.

Where had he seen it before?

Snapping out of his thoughts he placed two fingers on the man wrist, he trusted xB but he needed to double-check. There was a very faint pulse, just by touching him X could feel the man's energy draining.

Pulling his communicator from his bag He looked back at xB.

“We need to get him away from here, grab my arm”

xB latched onto Xisuma as he typed in a line of code to teleport them.

X’s grasped onto the stranger's hand gingerly and calmed his breathing as he felt the effects of the teleportation sweep over him.

They landed outside Stress’s starter base with a thud, the small island barely had enough room for the three of them.

“xB go get Scar he might be able to help, then once you've got him, get Doc and False here” Xisuma instructed calmly.

“I-uh yes Sir” xB said moving to get in one of the boats that lined the side of the island.

“STRESS?!” He shouted getting up to look down the trapdoor in the middle of the island, only to be met by the confused face of the woman in question.

“ X what's going on? “ she asked climbing up the ladder.

“ I'm afraid we need you witchy healing expertise” 

“What do you-” A gasp left her as she looked over to see a bloody body on her island behind X “Oh my goodness! Why? Who?”

“We don't know, all we know is he's not in good shape and I don't think he has much time left”

Stress moved past Xisuma looking over the man, he was covered in dirt, cuts, bruises and dried blood, his face was etched into a painful frown.

His wing was shifted in an awkward position and seemed to be severely broken 

“You do know I only just started studying healing magic, and I'm quite useless without potions,” she said looking back at her admin.

“I've got Scar on his way to help and Doc and False will be sent to the Nether to look for any supplies you need, I know I'm asking you a lot but you will try right?” 

“Of course! I never said I wouldn't help!” She said patting X on the shoulder as she moved past him towards her chests “Now! Get him downstairs onto a bed, Hmm next to my bookshelves there should be a chest with clothes, get him into something lighter, Oh and I need a bucket of water!”

“On it!” X said with no hesitation as he scooped up the man carefully.

Stress looked back to her chests and begun searching through them.

She knew more Ice spells then anyone would ever need but when it came to remedial magic her only knowledge came from books.

Which is why she needed to find that stupid spell book she bought off a wandering trader.

She dug through chests tossing aside dirt and rotten flesh, she literally bought it yesterday surely it couldn't be too buried.

The sound of moving water behind her drew her attention away, it was a frightened Scar in a boat heading her way,

“Stress what's happening? xB told me to come here, he looks like he's seen a ghost”

Scar popped out of the boat, jogging over to where Stress sat in front of the chests which she resumed her digging through.

“He also told me to grab my healing crystals, Is someone hurt?”

“Kinda-AHha found it!” The book sat between some andesite and some iron ore. 

She held it up dusting off the blue cover 

“Healing charms for beginners!”

“Wait what do you mean kinda?"

“Just come downstairs you'll see,” she said well rushing over to the trapdoor book under her arm. 

Scar followed her down the ladder more confused than before.

When he got to the bottom he turned to see a strange scene, a stressed Xisuma was standing with his helmet off in the middle of the room holding a bundle of clothes in one hand and a bucket of water in the other

Behind X laid an injured man who appeared to be crying.

"What happened?"

“I don't know, he didn't even wake up he just started sobbing,” X said to Stress

Scar let out a choke “ So whats?-”

“You said you brought crystals?” Stress cut in looking back at the wizard in training. 

“ Uh yeah, but?-” 

“Lay them around his body and place the strongest one you have on his chest”

Scar obliged giving up on his many questions and moved towards the brunette man pulling his red healing crystals out of his bag.

Stress faced Xisuma again “Grab some wool and start washing his wounds, also thank you for changing his clothes, I now realize that's a pretty awkward thing to ask,” she said rubbing the back of her neck.

“ It was no problem” X blatantly lied, It's not like he got so embarrassed he had to take his helmet off because he was overheating. _Right?_

It's not like Xisuma had somehow found the unconscious man charming or enticing. _Right?_

Stress flicked through the spellbook trying to find something that would at least stabilize the man, 

Close to the front of the book, she found the spell:

“Aura Interpretation”

Some unseen force seemed to urge her to keep reading, probably her instincts. 

Taking a deep breath she started reading the passage out loud

_ “ Aura Interpretation is a helpful spell every healer needs to know, It gives you the ability to see the faint colour of a person's aura, This is extremely helpful if you know what the colours mean. Well we’ve done it for you on the next page is a list of the colours known correlation with health, and just below you'll find the instructions to cast the spell” _

“Yes yes yes! Perfect!” She exclaimed hurriedly reading over the instructions,

“Raise your left hand over the subject” She did as the book said moving over to the bedside, Scar had finished setting up the crystals and Xisuma moved to the side clearing way for Stress.

“Press your right hand to your collar bone, uh, X hold the book for me”

“Yes Ma’am,” Xisuma said grabbing the book for her and holding it at reading distance.

“Focus your energy, Yah well duh that's how magic works!” She scoffed almost forgetting what she's supposed to be doing,

“Oh right- Uh repeat the following incantation  e̴̬̰̻̾͝i̴̧̤̳̇̾̋k̸̫̅͌o̵̲͛ǫ̷̯̺͛c̶̠̆ ̷̲̦̃̌ā̷̡͊ ̵̡̮̈́̚t̸̜̹̯̑e̵̬͆̓g̷̫̾ ̵͇̯͗͠u̵̗̾̓o̸̰̩̠̐͂y̴̤͝ ̸̫̯̪͝s̶̺̝̊̏i̸̘̻̅ͅh̸̢̔̿t̸̪̫̊̈́͌ ̸̳͇̈d̶͎̂a̷̹͛̎e̸̡̡̓r̵̦̗̹͒̓ ̶̙͔̾n̷̻̬͚͝ȧ̴̠͂̋ĉ̷̗͍̽ ̷̞̩̠͆͗͠u̷͕̍̌̂ȏ̷̤̘͖̏̾y̵͖̭̾ ̵̡̨̮f̵̦͍͗Ḯ̵͈̙̖̚ ”

A sharp white light poured out of her fingertips and surrounded the stranger's body.

With a bright flash, his aura appeared in front of her the floating around the man. 

“X next page, I'll need you to read for me, Scar take notes,” she said looking at the strange misty shapes,

She heard the page turn and began describing the shapes, there was a lot of them this was concerning.

“What does Reddish pink mean?” Stress asked,

“Uhh broken bones, best charm fix on page 27”

“Yellow?”

“Malnutrition, no charm fix”

“Oh dear, navy blue”

“Dehydration, charm fix on page 34”

Whenever you cast a new spell your body takes a lot of energy, this time was no different.

“Orange?”

“Emotional strain… no charm fix”

“Light green?” It was becoming harder to focus the spell by the second.

“Internal bleeding, page 16” 

It was almost painful at this point, the strain was gradually running up her arm.

“Ughh ah Purple. Dark, dark purple”

This was the colour that surrounded the most of the man's body it almost seemed to be choking him.

“Oh um, It says ‘A Mystical or Divine intrusion, this aura is incredibly dangerous to the subject...no charm fix’.”

Stress’s whole body convulsed and she fell backwards breaking the spell.

“What the heck does that mean?!”

“I'm not sure, are you alright?” Xisuma said offering her a hand, she took it and he pulled her up.

“I'm fine, but I don't think I can cast anything else right now, Scar do you think you can do the charms X listed off?”

“I'll try my best,” he said shakily, grabbing the book from Xisuma and began flicking through the pages. Stress had only recently taught him how to read incantations, but if Stress could pull off such a big spell on the first try he was sure could do at least sort of ok.

“Malnutrition, goodness how are we going to get food into him,” Stress said holding her head in her hands.

Just then commotion could be heard from above them.

“Hurry up!”

“I'm going, I'm going sheesh”

Doc, False and xB respectively came down the ladder as Stress shifted into the other room to figure out how to feed an unconscious person. 

At the sight of the man's body xB went pale again, he had forgotten just how broken the stranger looked.

The two newcomers let out gasps at display in front of them, Doc’s barely audible and False’s loud and full of worry. 

“What’s going on X?” False almost shouted.

“xB found this young man passed out in a forest,” he said gesturing to the still crying man on the bed “ He is badly injured and we need you two to make a fast trip to the nether to get potion supplies, I know its only day two but I'm sure you can do it.”

“How do we know we can trust him” Doc grunted 

“Because he's unconscious”

Doc's glare priced through Xisuma but it didn't face him, Doc may not readily trust strangers but he wasn't cruel.

“We’ll do it!” False exclaimed breaking the awkward silence.

“What?”

“Come on Doccy” 

“Don't call me-”

“It'll be funnn, We’ll do it!” she said cutting the hybrid off.

“Doc?” X said giving him a questioning stare.

“Alright, We’ll do it.” He said sighing.

“Thank you, both of you,” Xisuma said patting Doc on the shoulder, he grunted in response and turned to False to start planning.

xB piped up from the side “Is there anything else I can do?”

“You should go get some rest”

“But-” 

“You've done a lot today and I know you don't handle stress well, you need some sleep xB” Xisuma expressed with an authoritative but caring tone “Do you have a starter base ready yet?”

“I uh no” 

“That's alright, I know you're close to Hypno so I'll just send you to him, But first a suggestion for everyone”

Stress came back into the room.

False and Doc stopped bickering.

Scar put the spell book down.

All eyes landed on Xisuma.

“We need to keep this under wraps we don't want to send panic through the server, from what I can tell we might be dealing with something dangerous, so we have to try and maintain peace well we still can, alright?"

The assortment of Hermits nodded towards their leader.

They all disbanded to do their assigned tasks, each pondering the stranger.

Who was he?

What happened to him?

Why was he here?

* * *

Mumbo Jumbo woke up with just the worst headache. 

Just a continuous pounding against his temple.

This is how he knew it wasn't a dream.

He knew someone was in his room last night.

Who?

Why?

He didn't know

He just knew it happened.

There's no way it was a dream.

It was so vivid.

So real.

And the headache, god did it hurt.

He decided to keep quiet about his late-night visitor though because everyone was under a lot of stress from starting the new world and if it was just a dream he didn't want to look like an idiot.

So Mumbo went along with his day, his headache didn't fade but he tried to pay no mind to it.

Because it could've just been a dream.

But he knew it wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I could've of given yall an awkward scene where flustered Xisuma has to change unconscious Grian's clothes but I've decided to spare you for today, instead have a completely made up on the spot magic scene!


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

_At first, it was blinding pain._

_Then it was pure darkness._

_He couldn’t feel his body_

_He didn't know where he was._

_It wasn’t the Void_

_He knew that._

_The Void was cold._

_This, this was nothing_

_Just nothing._

_But then it was something._

_He was being thrust through his memories._

_But now with an outside perspective._

_Reliving all the horrible things he’s seen._

_And done._

_He couldn’t close his eyes to make it go away._

_He didn’t have eyes._

_He didn’t exist here._

_But he could still feel._

_Everything._

_He felt everything._

_All the remorse and disgust._

_All the guilt and heartbreak._

_He wanted nothing more than to cry._

* * *

_It had been two months since he’d gotten to play with the hippies and the scientists, nothing much had happened since then and frankly, it was beginning to bore him._

_So he decided to entertain himself and set up an anonymous game in HermitLand, the latest place of interest on the server._

_Demise._

_They didn’t question it and signed up for the chance at diamonds._

_It made sense that whoever suggested the game wanted to remain anonymous, as even with respawning, dying still hurt, and they probably didn’t want to be labelled a sadist._

_When no one died for two weeks, he got bored again and decided to kick the game off himself._

_Rendog had been peacefully swimming in a lake on a cliff as one does._

_But then the glass was placed above his head, he never saw who did it because he was more focused on breaking the block above him_

_Water filled his lungs and his vision faded to black._

_Luckily the block broke finally at the last second._

_Unluckily he was still light-headed from the experience and as he was jumping around in celebration, he misstepped and plunged into the hard rock below the cliff._

_Ren’s pricing scream filled the air and Ego giggled._

_His giggling twisted into full-on laughter as messages of concern promptly entered the chat._

_How sadistic._

**_No._ **

**_NO._ **

**_It was just for fun I didn’t mean any harm!_ **

* * *

The Hermits had been working for an entire week to save the stranger.

He just wouldn’t wake up.

And that wasn’t even the strangest part

No matter how many spells Stress and Scar cast, the man’s bruises would always reform and his cuts would reopen.

His body accepted the food, potions and water they gave him, but his fever never went down.

He also wouldn’t stop crying.

They didn’t know if pain or something else caused it.

But he just never stopped. 

When they went back to the forest where they found him, they discovered a strange necklace with a Nether star.

Xisuma knew it was the key to waking the man up.

Just by holding it, he could feel its power, but something told him it was withering, which led him to believe that the same was happening to the man.

He was working around the clock trying to figure out anything and everything.

What was the symbol on the man’s forehead?

How did he get here?

What in the world was the importance of the necklace?

Why wouldn’t he wake up?

* * *

_The world in front of him was completely in ruins._

_It was barely recognizable as the city it had once been._

_He had let his emotions take control again. He shouldn’t have done this._

_Oh well, what’s done is done._

_Besides, it wasn’t really his fault._

_He just didn’t expect to see someone from Evo still alive._

_Sure, she had been one of the nicer ones, but it didn’t excuse what the others did to him._

_Well, maybe sending a plethora of “natural disasters” hadn’t been the best way to cope._

_But it had been so much fun watching the acid rain tear through the builds_

_And the look on her face as a sinkhole appeared at spawn, it was priceless._

_Nevertheless, Ego shouldn’t have done it. So many innocent people were hurt, and worse._

_How careless._

**_It was a mistake._ **

**_She didn’t deserve that._ **

**_They didn’t deserve that._ **

**_I’m sorry._ **

**_I’m so sorry._ **

* * *

Word had of course gotten around the server and everyone knew about the cationic stranger at this point.

Almost everyone was offering their help.

But Xisuma was persistent to keep as many people as he could out of it for now.

Nobody but the original team could see him.

Mumbo wanted to see him, though.

It was killing him.

He just knew it was the man he had caught that night.

Unusual things had been appearing in his dreams recently.

Vague shapes and colours that almost made sense.

Screams, so many screams.

A red sweater that shifted into a shadowy cloak.

And words he could barely make out, but they still affected him like nothing else.

When he woke up he felt gut-wrenching guilt and an overwhelming amount of emotions.

His headache pounded against his skull and his body felt weak.

Mumbo now spends over an hour in the mornings after waking up just mustering the strength to get out of bed.

He still couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone what was going on though.

* * *

_He made many mistakes as a Watcher, but more often than not it was completely his fault._

_There were so many people who he could have saved if he had just pushed his ego to the side._

_But I mean, surely he knew better, right?_

_He was the one with God-like powers._

_Certainly, his instincts were always favourable?_

_That old man he left to starve in a hardcore world because it was the “right thing”_

_The young boy who fell through the void because he let the child walk into the end portal because he just “knew”_

_Those towns that went to war because he provoked them, as he “felt” it would all work out in the long run._

_They all died for the greater good, right?_

_Wrong._

_He could have saved them._

_And so many more._

_If he wasn’t such an egotist._

**_I thought I knew better._ **

**_I thought it was the right thing to do._ **

**_I should have helped them._ **

**_I could have helped them._ **

**_I could have saved them._ **

**_Saved them from me._ **

**_I’m such an idiot._ **

**_Just like him, I could have saved them._ **

**_I could have saved him._ **

**_It’s my fault._ **

**_I could have saved him._ **

**_I shouldn’t have left him behind._ **

**_It’s my fault._ **

**_I should have seen something was wrong._ **

**_I could have helped him._ **

**_I could have stopped him._ **

* * *

It was the second week into the new world and harbouring the stranger was a part of the Hermit's daily lives now. They set up a watch system for the man. It made sure there was always at least one person around to make sure he didn’t get worse or if he woke up, but they doubted that the latter would happen. He was still being held under Stress’s starter Island even though she had started to build her base out in the jungle. She expressed she felt uncomfortable sleeping so close to the unconscious man, which was fair.

They set the watch system up so as one or two people wherewith the man, the rest of them could get their well-earned rest. 

Expect Xisuma, he didn’t need rest 

Between the construction of his base and digging through code and books just trying to figure something out, he didn’t have time to sleep.

There was also his duty as an Admin to make sure the world was running smoothly, and a sure thing this world had its fair share of glitches.

More than usual it seemed, but maybe it just felt that way because he was sleep-deprived.

With everything on his shoulders, he was more than stressed out

And now it was his turn to watch the stranger.

It was late at night and he couldn’t stop thinking about how this was a waste of his time. He already felt uncomfortable being alone with the stranger ever since he let his mind wander as he was changing the petite man’s clothes.

Right now he could be doing so many other things.

Instead of sitting in a lone chair in the cold room watching a sleeping man, he could be working on his honey farm.

The only sounds to distract him from his thoughts were the soft sobs of the mysterious man.

Right now he would love nothing more than to have the low buzzing of his bees to block out the unwelcome thoughts in his head.

The thoughts about how he was failing the stranger.

How he was failing his Hermits.

How he was possibly putting them in danger.

How he didn’t deserve his admin role.

How he couldn't figure out what was going on.

He was a failure.

A creep.

_A bad Admin_

A weak cry snapped him out of his spiralling thoughts

Sighing, Xisuma shifted his chair closer to the bed.

He moved to hold the man’s hand, hesitating for a second.

Was this creepy?

Shaking his head, he gently intertwined their fingers, praying it would bring the small man any sort of comfort. 

Xisuma brought his free hand up to push some hair out of his face, startling himself when he found his face damp.

He was crying. 

Xisuma didn’t cry often.

He preferred to suppress his emotions. 

Another whimper left the man in front of him.

Xisuma squeezed his hand in consolation and felt his own eyes swell again.

Hot tears streamed down his face silently as he felt all his internal barriers fall. All the stress, self-doubt and other negative thoughts he’d been pushing away were suddenly smothering him.

He had no room to breathe.

_He couldn’t do it._

A choked sob left him and he felt the man shift uncomfortably in the bed.

Xisuma looked down at the man not expecting anything, astonishingly he felt a light pressure in his hand from the other man

He seemed like he was squeezing his hand in comfort, just as Xisuma had done moments before.

Even if it was likely his imagination it still calmed him down. He wiped his tears away with his free hand and gazed down at the hurting man.

He looked so frail and miserable, yet he was beautiful.

The way the moonlight shining in from the trapdoor above danced across his soft face and illuminated his golden brown locks.

He was so enchanting.

Why did he have this effect on Xisuma?

He hated that he didn’t know.

What he did know was that he needed to save the elegant stranger.

He has to.

* * *

He woke up the next morning to the sound of giggling

Sluggishly he opened his eyes, slowly shifting his sore neck to look at the source of the noise. A blurry Stress stood in the room's corner with a giggling False next to her. 

"Oh, no did we wake you up?” Stress asked, her grin faltering for a split second with concern.

X grunted and closed his eyes again, leaning back into the warm mass his face was on.

" Damn X! I never thought of you as someone who would use an unconscious man as a pillow!” False snorted out between hearty laughs.

Immediately his eyes shot open, and he stood up without thinking.

He tried to process where he was and what had happened.

He looked down to see the stranger sleeping soundly. His crying appeared to have stopped for the time being.

Next to the stranger was the chair he remembered sitting in last night.

Xisuma put two and two together.

Oh no.

He had fallen asleep hunched over in his chair with his head on the man’s chest. 

His face turned bright red from embarrassment.

Oh, God.

"Aww at least you were polite enough to hold his hand,” she said laughing harder.

Sweat washed down his back as he looked down at his hand still grasping the others, he dropped it carelessly and tried to figure out what to say.

"I-uh, I guess I was really tired, huh?” 

"Or you have the hots for someone on death’s doorstep” Xisuma cringed. He didn’t want to think about either of those things right now.

"False!” Stress yelled, giving her a hard look.

"Sorry, sorry I took it too far.” False mumbled she already regretted saying it, "You should go get some proper sleep X, you clearly need it, I’ll take over for now”

"But-”

"No buts, False is right. Go home X” Stress stated kindly, offering him some rockets for the flight home.

Xisuma gratefully took the rockets. He wanted to get out of the uncomfortable atmosphere as soon as he could. Putting on his elytra and his armour, he hastily made his way up the ladder. He quickly realized that because of his awkward sleeping position his back was hurting. He ignored the pain as he lifted off into the air, flying toward his home.

But of course, he wasn't going to sleep as recommended, he needed to figure out what was going on. 

He couldn’t fail.

* * *

_He was heading backwards through his memories, he knew that._

_He also knew that he was going to have to relive **that** memory. _

_But he couldn’t do it._

_He couldn’t._

_He didn’t want to see **that** again. _

_He didn’t want to see **him** do **that** again. _

_He didn’t want to hear them blame him again._

_Even though,_

**_It was his fault._ **

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :> This was hard as all hell to write for some reason.   
> Did it turn out ok? I fucking hope so, I had a bit too much fun twisting canon things to fit my plot.  
> I'd also like to note that after being inspired by a plethora of Grisuma fluff on this site I've decided to chuck some of that into this story. It actually fits quite well into the plot.   
> But make your guesses now, Which ship will prevail Grumbo or Grisuma! Only I know >:D


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh ho ho exactly 21 days later, they return with a 4000-word chapter :D!  
> *TW WARNING*  
> !SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!  
> Please mind the Tw, if at any point you feel uncomfy please stop reading! Your mental health matters more!

**Chapter 5**

"Taurtis! I don't understand it's just for fun!"

"I don't want to get involved Grian! I don't want to fight my friends!"

The two men were standing at spawn just outside the train station. What had started as a casual date had turned into a shouting match.

"I'm not fighting them! I'm trying to help bring peace!"

"You're manipulating our friends Grian! Netty wanted to stay neutral! You forced her hand! Does that sound like bringing peace? Does it?!!"

Taurtis was turning a similar shade to Grian's sweater, as he took a step closer to the smaller man,

"You know I'm getting so sick of you doing things to stroke your ego!"

"What!"

"Don't pretend that isn't what this is, I mean come on the Grian Empire? That just screams 'I'm doing this for attention' not 'I want to help my friends get along'!"

Grian was fuming how dare Taurtis say these things, he wanted to snap. Grian kept his anger at bay though; he was already mad enough he didn't need things to get worse.

"And I mean first you insist I live with you, then you can't even let me contribute to the base, now you want me to join your 'empire' so I can be your little errand boy?!" 

Taurtis was on the verge of tears

"Do you even care about ME?!!! Or just YOURSELF!?"

Grian's heart shattered, his filter dropped, 

He was mad.

"OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!!" Stumbling backwards away from Taurtis, his anger only grew "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

Spinning on his heel, he stomped over to the station and without looking back he took off.

He didn't want to see Taurtis, and Taurtis probably didn't want to see him either.

The minecart sped off and Grian let his tears fly past his face with the frigid wind.

He woke up the next morning angrier than yesterday.

Why didn't Taurtis chase after him?

Why didn't he come and comfort Grian?

He was clearly hurting.

Letting his anger blind him, he messaged the rest of the server reminding them that today was an update jump, not bothering to check up on Taurtis.

When everyone met up at the portal, no one even noticed him missing. They excitedly hoped through the portal, ecstatic about all the fresh things that would show up on the other side.

It wasn't until he spawned back at his base in the updated world that Grian realized he made a tremendous mistake. What was he thinking of leaving Taurtis behind!

There was a reason they all went together, no one knew how the Watchers worked.

Or what could happen if you get left behind

Not even him, the useless Admin.

Oh god

Oh god, Taurtis.

Grian's protective instincts pushed him in the portal's direction. He didn't bother getting in a minecart, he just ran, tears streaming down his face.

How could he be so stupid? 

So selfish? 

In under twenty minutes he arrived at the small cave where the last Evo portal had been. The taste of blood seeped into his mouth as he let out ragged coughs. He stopped to catch his breath. Last time he had run like that, it was his first night in the Evo world and he was being chased by a swarm of mobs.

In other words, his body was not prepared for that.

Grian's head felt as if it was filled with boiling water, he swayed in his spot, feeling as if he would pass out.

But he couldn't.

Taurtis.

A second wave of urgency pulsed through him.

Stumbling into the cave he silently prayed to the Watchers or whoever was looking over him, he could get Taurtis back.

His heart shattered as he gazed into the cavern.

No.

The portal wasn't lit anymore.

"NO!"

He yelled as his body collapsed to the cold, hard floor.

* * *

_Ego watched from ?Above? Around? Beside?_

_He watched, heart aching. This wasn't the worst part of the memory, but it still hurt to see his younger self like that._

_He knew what would happen next; Pearl would eventually find him in the cave and drag him back to his base, where he would spend the next week refusing to eat, sleep or move. His fellow server members visited him over this time span, most came to give their condolences and to urge him to take care of himself. The others that visited, well, they didn't come with good intentions._

_Ego expected to feel the pull of that memory, he expected to see his past self cornered in his base with three men towering over him yelling obscene things at him._

_Blaming him._

_But that's not the memory that came next._

_Instead, he found his consciousness in a purple monotone world._

_This memory wasn't his._

_To his right was a shack that seemed to have been built in a rush._

_Before he could make any sense of what was going on, Ego ?appeared? suddenly in the shack_

_In front of him was Taurtis, sleeping peacefully._

_Oh._

* * *

When Taurtis woke up the next morning, he noticed nothing wrong at first. He was more caught up in the sour memories of the day before. After the fight with Grian, he had mindlessly wandered around the world until night fell and he haphazardly built a small wooden shack to escape the mobs outside.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Taurtis stood up out of the bed. He should probably go apologize to his boyfriend. Picking up his bag, which he had carelessly thrown on the ground the night before, he made sure he had his headphones around his neck and then opened the door. Taurtis left the safe little shack for the outside world.

Only then did he notice that everything was purple.

Panic surged through him as he ran out into the forest whipping his head around wildly trying to make any sense of his surroundings. The bizarre environment sank in all at once, the sky above him was a pitch-black resembling the void, it was insanely cold out, everything smelt faintly of something sweet, purple particles similar to those that came off a portal were drifting in the air around him blurring his vision slightly, and, worst of all for Taurtis, everything was eerily quiet.

Every single one of his senses was overwhelmed.

Coming to a stop in a clearing he panicked, he couldn't breathe. What was happening?

Once he calmed down a bit, a plan started forming in his head.

He reached for his communicator in his bag only to find nothing. 

Fuck. 

He had left it at the base when they went out for their date yesterday.

Then it hit him, this might still be Evo. It felt like it.

His communicator might still be at the base, and he might be able to find his way back.

It was worth a shot, right?

Even though there were a lot of 'what ifs' Taurtis held onto the only hope he had and set off in the direction that felt the most familiar.

The first day of travel was fine. The only issue was the deafening silence. Taurtis didn't like the muted noise, it bothered him, so he usually had his communicator to play music in the background. But he didn't have his communicator, so it left him only with his thoughts. It was driving him mad.

After the first day, it gradually got worse. He realized quickly that the only food source he had was the stuff in his bag. And he was running out of pork chops fast. He also felt like he was being watched, but he tried to ignore that feeling.

He'd been walking for ?days? Well, maybe not days, time didn't seem to pass in what Taurtis had come to call the 'Downside Up,' 

Nevertheless, he'd been walking for a long time, yet he still couldn't find any sign of Evo.

He was starting to worry that maybe this wasn't the same world as he had originally presumed, but the thought of Grian all alone, missing him, pushed him to keep searching.

Eventually, he had to take a break. Hunger and exhaustion was wearing him thin, so he decided to lay down in the middle of the violet forest. He stared up into the void that was the sky, feeling tired wash over his body. He didn't have to worry about mobs, so he felt somewhat peaceful as he slipped his eyes shut.

Desperately trying to ignore the hunger clawing at his stomach and the dizziness in his head, he thought about home, his friends, Grian.

He didn't need to eat; he had to ration his food. Besides, he wasn't that hungry.

_"They don't miss you"_

Taurtis shot up from his position on the ground and looked around wildly to see the source of the noise.

Nothing.

He was probably just imagining things; he thought as he sat back down, even more dizzy from the sudden movement.

_"You're better off just giving up."_

This time the owner of the ominous voice showed themselves. Walking out of the thick trees to his left was... Taurtis.

Well, not exactly him. This almost identical version of him was completely made up of shades of grey.

Except for his eyes, those were a piercing purple.

And they were looking right at him.

_"They don't want you back,"_ the monotone look-alike said, drawing closer to the terrified Taurtis. 

"No-no you're wrong" Taurtis stuttered not completely believing his own words, he shuffled backwards trying to get away. 

_"Let me show you where you belong."_ The man said staring at Taurtis with unblinking purple eyes, _"Let me bring you home,"_

Taurtis's back hit a tree, and he froze up with fear, watching as the menacing copy crouched in front of him. Cold radiated from the other's body, making Taurtis shiver even more.

_"Grian already forgot about you, don't worry."_ With that statement, something snapped in Taurtis and he lunged forward, knocking the double to ground.

"NO!" He yelled, quickly pulling his sword out of his bag and pointing it at the clone.

_"Do it."_ the pale man said through a smirk _"Anything you do to me you'll be doing to yourself"_

Taurtis resisted the urge to stab him right that moment, just in case he wasn't lying, he chose to run.

And run he did. He bolted through the thick forest, letting the low-hanging branches cut up his skin. Too afraid to look behind him, he ran until he couldn't breathe and the dizziness from before came back even stronger.

He fell to his knees at the edge of the forest, he could just barely see buildings in the distance as his vision faded to black and he fell forward into the dirt.

* * *

_Taurtis had never fully told Ego what happened during his time missing, but seeing it for himself he felt even more guilt-stricken. Although he didn't have much time to ponder his guilt as he felt the familiar feeling of memories shifting._

_It was the memory he had expected to see before. Funny, he thought he could escape it._

_He can't._

* * *

Solidarity, Mini, and Zee stood at the edge of his bed.

"Get up!" the taller brunette man, Mini shouted as Zee grabbed Grian's shoulder and shoved him out of bed. Tears formed in his eyes as Grian was thrown against the wall of his base, knocking the wind out of him.

"You don't deserve to lay there uselessly and grieve!" Solidarity yelled approaching the younger male with his fist clenched, "This is your fault!" Solidarity punched the wall just inches away from his head, causing him to cower further into himself.

"As the admin, it's your job to keep us safe. All of us!" Mini spat almost most shaking from anger.

"He was your boyfriend Grain what the fuck is wrong with you?!" Zee growled, his face the same red as his hair "You couldn't put your ego to rest even for him?" 

"Disgusting" 

“Pathetic”

“Selfish”

“You’re going to get what you deserve!”

* * *

When Taurtis regained consciousness, his heart leapt out of his chest. He had fallen at the line of trees just at the edge of spawn. He could just barely see Dirt Cheap and the Bakery in the distance from his position. Wasting no time, he leapt up and ran towards the familiar train station. Hopping in a minecart the moment he was on the platform. As he sped off towards Grian's base, No *their home*Taurtis looked over his shoulder and chills went up through his spine, when for a split second he thought he saw the ghostly version of himself. He brushed it off as just his paranoid imagination and looked at the familiar scenery rushing past him. Even if it was purple, it was still comforting and beautiful.

His heart sped up a bit as he saw the enormous base surrounded by water come into his line of view.

He was going home.

Right?

_Would they even want him?_

He hopped out of the minecart before it could even stop moving, running down into the base looking everywhere for his communicator.

Then he saw it. 

Laying at the foot of the 'summoning platform' Grian had refused to take down, was his communicator, smashed into a million pieces, glowing faintly of purple.

The hope he once had was completely gone.

He was stuck.

Stuck in this silent, cold, purple Hell.

Stuck with a malicious twin hunting after him.

Stuck.

At that moment, his heart resembled the pieces of metal laying on the ground in front of him.

He couldn't even cry.

He was so tired and hungry; he reached for his bag to pull out his remaining food, what good would rationing do him now, only to find nothing.

His bag was missing.

Of course it was.

Hunger pains wrecked his body as he laid down on the ground, silent dry sobs shaking him. 

_He might as well just give up._

A whirring noise behind him brought his attention away from the ground in front of him just in time to see three cloaked figures step out of a bedrock portal.

"Wicked, you were right he is cute!"

"Thief! You know full well that isn't what I said," The tallest of the three said approaching Taurtis who was still lying on the ground in shock, "Sorry for the rude entrance Taurtis this is the first time Thief's ever done this, I assure you we're here to help"

'Wicked' took off his hood and offered his hand to Taurtis, staring at him with bright purple eyes.

The eyes.

All Taurtis could see was the eyes.

Taurtis moved away from the stranger in a panic and started rambling, 

"No, this isn't real, who are you? How do you know my name? What's happening? Where am I?"

"Well, it's quite simple, we're the Watchers" Wicked drew his hand away and snapped his fingers with a smirk.

A purple mist surrounded Taurtis and he was lifted off the ground, his cuts healed and the pain in his stomach dissipated.

"Wh-What?"

These were the Watchers? The 'gods' that drove their world forward? The beings that everyone but him seemed to trust? The people that made Grian's job as Admin unnecessarily hard?

"I'm Wicked as you heard, the oldest of your world's Watchers, We're here to save you" 

"I'm 'the youngest' aka the noob, Thief, I hate that title, so you're gonna take it!" The short male playfully bounded up to the already confused Taurtis and patted him on the shoulder.

A sigh left the hooded women, who until now had stayed silent.

"And I'm Blink the next in line as 'leader' " Taurtis observed her slim face cautiously, eyes briefly resting on the purple symbol on her forehead.

"Wait? What do you mean- what?"

"It's such a shame they left you behind," Wicked said moving Thief to the side and grabbing Taurtis cheeks in his hand "You're so young and full of potential" Taurtis was getting a closer look at the man, he had black hair and a goatee, he dawned the same 'Evo symbol' on his forehead as Blink, and, the most shocking thing, was the pair of horns sticking out of the man's head. Only Nether borns are supposed to have horns.

Taurtis pushed away the distracting thoughts and tried to focus on the more glaring issue. This strange man was holding his face. Before he could try and say anything Wicked spoke again.

"You see, Taurtis since your 'friends' abandoned you here, we're willing to give you a spot as a Watcher, perhaps you could get some revenge?"

He tried to shake his head. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

"You would take Thief's place as the youngest and I would be finally free move on and become a Listener" Wicked’s eyes lit up at the word Listener. He leaned in closer, gripping harder on Taurtis face, he could almost feel the man's breath on his nose "So what do you say? You want to become a God?" The menacing man finally let go and Taurtis wobbled in place a bit before staring at the people in front of him.

He didn’t even hesitate with his answer.

"No. I love my friends. They didn't abandon me. _He_ didn't abandon me." He glared at the Watchers, quickly realizing that these 'people' were the source of all their problems, "I would never want to be one of you, you toy with us, manipulate us," Taurtis felt his chin tremble. "Grian's life would be so much easier if you would just-" 

"That's enough!." Wicked’s rough voice cut through Taurtis bumbling "I get it, you don't want to be a Watcher, do you at least want to go home?" Violet eyes glared at Taurtis as he carefully wiped his tear-stained face.

"You can bring me home?"

Blink spoke up this time, "Yes, but we can't promise this realm won't have any lasting effects on your mental health."

"We also can't promise we'll try to save you again!" Thief said with a smirk.

"What?"

"Do you want to go home or not!" Wicked snapped "Or do you want your _inner demons_ to hunt you like prey for the rest of your feeble existence!"

"Y-yes, I want to go home."

_Do they want you home?_

A portal instantly appeared behind him and he felt himself get pushed backwards before he could say anything else.

* * *

_Ego had never met Wicked, Blink had told him about her leader once or twice, but stayed away from that topic. He understood why now; Wicked was an asshole._

_It was clear what his intentions were with Taurtis, he just wanted to "save" him so he could become a Listener._

_Ego wondered how Wicked had gotten his name._

* * *

Tomohawk had just been walking through the spawn when he saw the dishevelled body of Taurtis crumple onto the spawning platform. He ran over and grabbed onto the smaller man in one hand and used his other to hastily type a message in chat. 

<TomoHawk> Tarutisn spawn get G

He dropped his communicator and cradled Taurtis in his arm. He looked fine, just a little tired.

"You all right bud?" Taurtis gazed up at his bald friend and weakly held a thumbs up.

It only took a few minutes for the rest of the Evo members to show up and only a few more for Grian to come barreling through the crowd, lunging himself onto Taurtis, pushing Tom out of the way.

"TAURTIS! Are you ok? I'm so sorry! I love you! Are you hurt?" Grain asked, clutching Taurtis face, he didn't even wait for an answer as he pulled him into a loving kiss. Taurtis wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist as he felt hot tears spread across his face. Were they his or Grian's? It didn't matter, they were both crying. Grian pulled away briefly to breathe, gazing lovingly at Taurtis.

Moving to wipe the tears off Grian’s enchanting face, Taurtis noticed an enormous bruise up the side of his left cheek and before he could touch it, Grian grabbed his hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back. 

"What happened?" Taurtis asked, not noticing the way Grain's eyes flickered up at the three men in the crowd glaring at him. Grian shook his head and pulled Taurtis into another hug.

"I'm sorry Taurtis, I'm so sorry, I should have paid attention, I should have never left you behind, I'm sorry," Grian sobbed into his lover's shoulder and Taurtis rubbed circles into his back.

"Grian, this isn't your fault, I shouldn't have said those things, and I should have come and apologized"

_Did Taurtis believe what he was saying?_

"NO! This is my fault! And you know that and I'm really, really sorry and I should have-" Grian didn't get to finish because there was a pair of lips on his again, this time with the gift of a softer kiss.

"Grian I love you and I forgive you."

_Did he, though?_

_The Watchers had been right. His double had been right._

_They had abandoned him._

Although his first day back may have been sweet bliss, Taurtis soon came to realize what the "lasting effects" were. 

He was constantly cold,

Even with his music playing at an unhealthy volume, everything still resembled that deafening silence,

Sometimes when he fell asleep, he would find himself back in the 'Downside Up', sure he would always wake up next to Grian, but it still hurt,

Every once in a while he would see the grey-scale version of himself in the corner of his eye,

His negative thoughts were louder than ever.

He was going insane.

He could barely breathe without wishing it would be the last one.

Even when he was with the people he loved, doing things that made him happy, his mind would take the situation and twist his perspective as to torture him.

He was losing sleep.

Losing trust.

Losing the will to live.

The whispers only grew louder.

The day they became full-blown screams was when the community decided they would try their hand at beating the Ender Dragon. The moment Taurtis stepped through that portal, he knew what he had to do.

The void was calling him.

The plan was for everyone to split up, one group would distract the dragon and the other group would destroy the end crystals. Grain was on team two, though he never reached the top of his obsidian pillar.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Taurtis taking off his last piece of armour at the edge of the End island. He didn't even question what was happening. Every bone in his body told him to get to Taurtis. Grunting as he jumped off his dirt tower he ran towards the raven-haired man.

"TAURTIS STOP!" 

He was too late.

Taurtis turned to look at the petite man running towards him, smiling weakly.

"I love you Grian, I'm sorry." Grian fell to his knees as he watched the only person he loved fall backwards into the void. A heartbroken wail left him as the death message popped up on his communicator screen.

"TAURTIS!"

The fight that had continued in the background paused as everyone realized what had happened. The Evo community surrounded Grian and when he looked up, there were more than just three faces glaring down at him.

It was his fault, and they knew it.

_It was his fault, and he knew it._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK! WhoooooOoo?  
> Idk I hope you enjoyed this chapter and...I'm sorry lol :P  
> Fun fact I used the word 'Taurtis' exactly 69 times!   
> ALSO! I have a shit tone of art I've drawn for this series, and I'm thinking about putting it on my fanart account on Instagram, @aj.the.pesky.gooose , If you're interested please let me know!


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